Wouldn't it be simple
Wouldn't it be simple:
The soprano song of tick and tock
Joining low, the grandfather clock.
Foam caps dancing on hungry sea
Woofwoofdog and buzzbuzzbee.
Shard of sunlight, burst of breeze
Twisting water and bowing trees.
Flowers bobbing on lakes of grass,
Know who you are, no looking-glass.
Vanity swoons as it drifts and flies
On downy clouds in crimson skies.
Rolling hills Earth's shoulder blades
Milky moon as daylight fades.
Hatred a splinter of the past
Jars of moments, hopes that last.
Wars just words torn in a cloud
Melt before they're read aloud.
New song, new dance, new words, new themes,
Anger lost forgotten dreams.
Raindrops land as silver kisses
Sky painted with turquoise wishes.
Dancing wind and feathered wing
Stop to hear the skylarks sing.
Sinking back into a sheltered land
Our futures held in a grain of sand.
To hold our heads high, look back and say
If I could do it all again I wouldn't change a thing.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,017 Literary Works • 672,852 Reviews
I loved this, to be perfectly honest and not sound like i'm just like um how would you say....just saying good things to be nice? maybe. but i really do think it is one of the best things I've read in a while. the wording and just the style was really great.
Good job and really like the others said please please keep writing.
a) this poem is amazing. cute (as in a good thing) and professional at the same time. very well-done. write more soon.
b)
i dunno. seeing the word 'word' so close together just bugged me. seriously might just be me, though...
Yeah i agfree with all the above comments, this is such a good/cute poem! It made me smile, and not many peices of writing actually get a genuine smile from me. Well done! And keep up the good work!
Thanks for all your comments! I am new to this and was worried comments would be harsh! Thanks for the advice about stanzas, good idea.
Wow! This was AMAZING! I was in awe the entire time I was reading. It is so beautiful! Please please please write more. This sounded so professional and so put together. WOW! I have to go get my cousin and make her read this! GREAT JOB!!!!!
Pandora
I really did like this poem. It has wonderful imagery and beautiful ideas. My only suggestion is to maybe space it out into stanzas, just because it's easier for a reader to read it and comprehend it if its more spread out. Also they might get lost if it's all together.
Keep posting!
I hope that's a good thing
All I can say is that this is the (for want of a much better word) cutest thing I've read in a very long time.
And I did not mean that patronisingly.